TWO TIMING BANK ROBBER'S LAMENT
She had eyes like dirty emeralds and hair like melted gold
And a taste for silver dollars, or so Im told
She said: Theres things a lover needs or else a lover comes undone.
But shes got a walk that leaves me wonderin am I still the only one?
I aint got the means, aint got the money
Thank god the church closed the banks on Sunday
Cause Ive got two strong shoulders and this old rock hammer
Puttin two and two, and two and two, and two and two together
Singin: Hey now, what can you do?
Oh hey now, what can you do?
Oh hey now, hey now, what can you do?
You went off happily ever after
Sadly all I was ever afters you
A carnation on my collar and diamonds on my cuff
Gonna wine and dine my baby cause sometimes whinin aint enough
But let me tell you friends about the recipe for pain . . .
Its a splash of fresh magnificence with a hint of old disdain
She said: What you doin baby? Youre dressed up like a clown.
Looks like a touch of class done kicked your ass and thrown you to the ground.
Believe me, its so easy to see whose dues are paid . . .
New money smells like vinyl. Honey, old money smells like suede.
I said: Why you talkin crazy, baby? I bought these things for you.
She said: Youre throwin round your money like you just robbed a bank or two.
I said: Maybe Ive been workin hard and maybe had some luck
And maybe we should go before the maitre d' hears us.
So I stood up in a fluster and I went upfront to pay
She went back to the powder room to powder up her face
And I guess she found the telephone and I guess she found the time
Cause while I picked up the dinner check, sweet honey dropped the dime
I heard the sirens comin and I was out the door
Back to put the money where the money was before
I made it to the bank and I made it through the wall
But I kicked a brick behind me and I heard the tunnel fall
So here I am and here I sit and here is where Ill be
Trapped inside the bank vault til the police rescue me
And take me to the big house where there aint no girls like you
And where the boys all tell you what they want and thats all youve gotta do
Copyright 2008. Words and music by Danny Schmidt.